


Special Friends

by x119



Category: Schwarz Stein
Genre: Crack, M/M, i dont apologize for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-01-31 19:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12688305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x119/pseuds/x119
Summary: Collection of one-shots about Kaya and Hora doin thangs. Reposted from my long-dead tumblr.





	1. Special Friends

            “Just one more thing,” Kaya said hurriedly, rummaging through his bag as Hora sat in front of him and stared into a handheld mirror to make sure his face scribbles were put on correctly.

            “What?” Hora asked flatly, lowering his mirror in mild annoyance. Kaya never seemed to have anything together, and tonight was no exception. Five minutes before a show was really no time to be pulling out random accessories, no matter how “cute” he seemed to think they were. Hora still hadn’t managed to get a word in to tell the vocalist that his eyelashes had fallen out of place in the excitement, but he doubted he would ever have the chance.

          “I bought you a present!” Kaya exclaimed, finally finding the last item in his strange arsenal. He produced a sparkly tiara quite similar to his own with the exception of the phrase “special friend” sculpted into the top of the headpiece in sparkling letters.

            “I got it for you because we’re such special friends,” Kaya answered with a smile before Hora could spit out any distasteful remarks. He regarded the object with a frown as Kaya held it aloft, attempting to rest it on top of the other man’s head.

            “What are you doing?” Hora asked, employing several evasive maneuvers, much to Kaya’s disdain. “We don’t have time for dress up.”

            Kaya ignored Hora’s horribly ironic comment and smiled instead, lowering his hands for a moment.

            “Whatever you say,” he answered with a little giggle, spinning around to check on his own face in the mirror he had set up across the room. Hora let out a sigh and went back to making adjustments on his forehead art, hurriedly adding in several more lines as he watched two more minutes tick by on the clock.

            “We should probably go,” Hora suggested, snapping his mirror shut and spinning around in his chair. Amazingly, Kaya was still silent. He sauntered away from his mirror and stood at the door, waiting for Hora to rise from his chair. As Hora strode through the doorway he felt something drop onto his head immediately before seeing Kaya sprint down the hallway in a fit of giggles.

            Hora sighed and removed the tiara from his hair, glancing again at the idiotic phrase moulded into the sparkly plastic. He smiled to himself and quickly tucked the tiara away in his bag before running off down the hall.


	2. First Encounter

            Hora was relieved to finally be home. The work day had been long and seemed virtually endless; all he wanted to do was curl up on his bed and sleep for days and forget about everything. He quickly made his way down the hall to the door of his apartment, the anticipation of the best sleep ever building inside him. He turned the key in the lock and forced the door open, striding swiftly inside.

            However, he wasn’t alone.

            “K…Kaya?” He stammered as the door fell shut behind him, the click of its shutting a distant sound as his mind occupied itself with the figure sitting upon his couch.

            “Welcome home, Hora-kun,” Kaya answered, flashing a large grin. He stood gracefully from the couch, stepping over to the doorway where Hora still stood in shock.

            “I’ve been waiting for hours, what were you doing out so late?” Kaya continued as he sided up to Hora, too close for the other’s comfort. Hora took one step back just in time to notice Kaya’s fingers clicking the lock into place on his apartment door.

            “Um, working,” he answered quickly, taking several steps toward the middle of the room and away from Kaya. This seemed to have no effect as Kaya merely smiled and matched his stride, ending up mere inches away from Hora in much the same way he had been before. Attempting to brush aside the unnerving closeness, Hora spoke again.

            “So, what are you doing here?” he asked, the quaking of his voice evident to his own ears. Kaya smiled and seemed to flush a little, wringing his hands together with excitement.

            “I just wanted to surprise you,” Kaya giggled, one hand rising to daintily cover his mouth. “I know you love surprises.”

            “Um, no, not particularly,” Hora responded, aimlessly backing away from Kaya yet again. This time, he had unfortunately walked himself into a wall. Kaya seemed to notice and was prepared to take full advantage of the situation, leaning forward and pressing his body tight against Hora’s.

            “Okay, I want to make some things very clear,” Hora began before Kaya could utter some shamelessly sensual remarks. “I met you last week. One time. This is not the kind of relationship I had envisioned.”

            “But, Hora-kun,” Kaya sighed, his pink painted lips curling into an adorable pout, “You are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met and I love you more than anything in the world! How can you expect me to stay away?”

            “Look, I don’t even know you, I think you should-” Hora began hurriedly before being interrupted by Kaya’s sultry voice.

            “But I know you…”

            “I would really hope that you don’t,” Hora said through gritted teeth, trying extremely hard to fight the intense sexiness of this situation.

            “Hora-kun,” Kaya breathed, his eyelashes fluttering as he leaned in close to Hora’s face. “I followed you home from the club that night we met. I came back here every night to be near you. I like to climb up to your balcony and stare through your sliding glass doors. A few nights ago, I managed to pick the lock on one of them and slip inside. You took lovely when you sleep… I took several photos so I could always cherish that special moment we had together.”

            “Um,” was all Hora was able to say before Kaya’s lips enclosed forcefully over his mouth. Hora attempted to squirm away but it was no use: Kaya had him pushed firmly against the wall with his hands anchored into Hora’s hair to hold him in position. He endured the vigorous kiss with steadily decreasing anxiety; however, when he remembered that this was a strange man who had been hanging outside his apartment window for a week and taking pictures of him while he slept, he was thrust back into the harsh reality of the strange circumstances.

            “Okay, no, this is not happening,” Hora said angrily as he finally broke away from Kaya’s kiss. “You need to leave.”

            “Don’t be silly,” Kaya replied with a giggle, managing to fight through Hora’s defenses to plant a kiss on his cheek. “We’re going to spend the night together.”

            “No, we’re really not,” said Hora, finally slithering out of Kaya’s grasp and taking several large steps backward. “Now, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me alone from now on.”

            “I see what you’re trying to do,” Kaya giggled, leaning against the wall in what Hora assumed was some sort of attempt to be sexy. “You’re playing hard to get!”

            “What? I-”

            “It’s okay to admit that you want me,” Kaya continued, advancing on his prey once more. “You don’t have to hide it…”

            Kaya shot forward in a flash, grabbing Hora by the neck and attempting to wrestle him to the ground. Hora fought him off, pinning the other to the floor for an instant (which Kaya seemed to be pleased about) before the drag queen reversed their positions and managed to climb atop Hora’s chest.

            Kaya’s hand on Hora’s neck, he slowly produced a small knife from inside his corset and held it up to the other man’s throat.

            “You must love me!” Kaya demanded, a sadistic gleam in his eye and a manic smile upon his lips. He giggled madly when Hora finally nodded, a single tear rolling down the victim’s cheek.

            And that’s how Schwarz Stein was formed.


	3. Organ Donor

            “Hora-kun, I need to talk to you about some serious issues,” Kaya announced loudly as he burst into Hora’s apartment. The apartment’s owner (though he was no longer in charge of anything) was reading on the couch and very peeved at Kaya’s unnecessarily noisy entrance.

            “What is it?” Hora asked, attempting to keep the venom out of his voice. It wasn’t worth another one of Kaya’s episodes to talk back to such a simple request. Kaya scurried over to the couch and sat down uncomfortably close to Hora (as usual) and swiftly pried the book out of the other’s hands. Hora once again resisted the urge to stand up for himself and waited for Kaya to speak about his “important issues”.

            “Well, I went out shopping today,” Kaya began, absentmindedly placing his hand on Hora’s knee. Hora would have squirmed away if he hadn’t already been stabbed in the leg with a fork for doing so at dinner the previous night.

            “I saw the most adorable shoes, but there was a slight problem…”

            “What?”

            “I… oh, Hora-kun!” Kaya sighed and pressed his hand against his forehead dramatically, earning an eye roll from Hora. “I didn’t have enough money for them!”

            “I suppose you’re asking me to get them for you,” Hora grumbled, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as Kaya slipped one arm around his shoulders with a smirk.

            “No, that’s not it,” Kaya purred, sliding his other hand slowly up the length of Hora’s leg and underneath his t-shirt. “I need something from you first.”

            “Seriously?” Hora replied, no longer able to hide his irritation. “That contract I signed said I was only obligated to do this once per day and I already let you have one extra during lunch time.”

            “No, no, not that,” Kaya giggled, his cheeks reddened with embarrassment. “Something else.”

            “Well what the hell do you-” Hora immediately went silent as he felt the cold metal of Kaya’s trusty switchblade knife on his abdomen.

            “I’m going to need to borrow your kidney.”


End file.
